She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
