i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
