They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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