so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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