lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
