Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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