he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
