New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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