I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
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I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
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I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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