Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
