Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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