well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize