Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
