you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
tequila makes me forget i have legs
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
