I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
