I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
