Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
ok first of all what the fuck
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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