"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
