Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
