By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize