Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
