she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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