Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
