Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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