Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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