is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
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