Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
