He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
