You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
