its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
