Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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