So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
