sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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