Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
