wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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