From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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