is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
