I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
