and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize