maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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