Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
