Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
