Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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