i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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