Come see our sink grown plant.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
