So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
