i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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