i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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