What a fucking waste of an outfit
Soap is not a condiment
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
