how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm passing your future prison.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
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