are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
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She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
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He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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