i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
