I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
