She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
