The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
