the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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