so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
