i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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