I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
