So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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