If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
