I murdered the dance floor call the cops
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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