let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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