Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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