I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
