So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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