Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
