things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
