I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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