i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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