I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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