That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
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I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
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i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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